About 10 minutes into Brian Regan’s set Friday night at the Silver Legacy, the well-known comedian offered an admission: “I’m not good at talking to people. I know it might sound weird in this setting.”
The roughly 1,500 people in attendance, who laughed wall to wall during the 60-minute show, would beg to disagree. Regan, 54, who has appeared on The David Letterman Show 24 times, has a long history of cracking up crowds. That was no different Friday for the self-deprecating Regan, who got a standing ovation after finishing his set.
With sarcasm dripping during his performance, Regan opened the show with some of his classic observational humor. His first joke hit on a truck he recently saw.
“I don’t know about you, but I see some weird things,” Regan said. “I saw a truck the other day for a roofing company. What the guy named his own roofing company so disappointed me I couldn’t sleep that night. The name of his roofing company was ‘Feedler Roofing Company.’ How did he not think of ‘Feedler on the Roof?’ How can you not think of that! ‘My name is Feedler. I’m going to be on the roof. Feedler Roofing Company!’ It’s three in the morning and I’m still tossing and turning about this.”
Regan riffed on a handful of sources, including: people who screw up hotel reservations; people who drive slow in passing lanes; waitresses who butcher the “Happy Birthday” song at restaurants; people who cut lines at Disney World; the convenience store 7/11; marching bands; the bagpipe; airport security; his appearance as he ages; his horrible dancing moves; and his inability to want to read a book (he joked he needs a bookmark to read a two-page magazine article).
Regan, who refrains from profanity and off-color humor, often uses himself as the butt of the joke.
“I heard a nutritionist on TV say, ‘You should eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a peasant,’” Regan said. “I misheard him and I eat breakfast like a king, lunch like an 800-pound gorilla, dinner like a 1,000-pound gorilla and a midnight snack like a whale.”
Regan, who was ably fronted by Kermet Apio as an opening act, drew as many laughs from his facial contortions and voice inflections as his bits. His hillbilly impression drew some of the loudest laughs, as did his mock eating of a meatball sandwich and Krispy Kreme chocolate ice donut.
Some of his quick hits included the following:
* “Have you ever tried to cancel a magazine subscription? It’s easier to break up with a psycho.”
* “What’s the plural of hair? You have one hair, two or three hairs and a head full of hair? When does that ‘s’ peel off? You should say hair if she literally only has the only. Edna, your hair, the way you’ve swirled it and swooped it and put a scrunchy in there, you should be proud of your hair.”
* “Some words are weird. Only two things come in sprees: shopping and killing. If somebody tells you they’re going out on a spree, you might want to ask them some questions. ‘Honey, I’m going out on a little spree. I’ll be back.’ ‘What kind of spree?’ ‘You said we needed some sandwich meat, cookies and milk. I’m going to go kill all the neighbors and get some.’”
* “Did you know a lot of people’s last names are based on the occupation of their ancestors? That’s true in my neighborhood. We have the Cooks. Right next to us are the Taylors. Catty-corner from us live the Elephant Dung Shovelers.”
* “I can do a lot of things on the dance floor, but there’s one thing I still don’t know quite how to do. And that is, have fun.”
Regan, who has starred in a pair of Comedy Central one-hour specials, also directed his ire at doctors who are late to appointments, an occurrence his audience has surely experienced.
“Why is the doctor allowed to be late?” Regan asked. “I don’t get that. I don’t accept it. I made an appointment. I didn’t just happen to walk in on the guy. I called ahead. .. The only way I think it would be OK for the doctor to be late is if you’re in the waiting room and you notice from under the door that leads to the back rooms an ever-widening pool of blood that starts coming out to the waiting room. Then it would be OK – for him to be five minutes late. Clamp whatever’s bleeding and get me back there.”